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Scary Close: Dropping The Act And Finding True Intimacy

After decades of failed relationships and painful drama, Donald Miller decided he’d had enough. Impressing people wasn’t helping him connect with anyone. He’d built a life of public isolation, yet he dreamed of meaningful relationships. So at forty years old he made a scary decision: to be himself no matter what it cost. From the author of Blue Like Jazz comes a book about the risk involved in choosing to impress fewer people and connect with more, about the freedom that comes when we stop acting and start loving. It is a story about knocking down old walls to create a healthy mind, a strong family, and a satisfying career. And it all feels like a conversation with the best kind of friend: smart, funny, true, important. Scary Close is Donald Miller at his best.

Hardcover: 256 pages

Publisher: Thomas Nelson (February 3, 2015)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 078521318X

ISBN-13: 978-0785213185

Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.8 x 1 inches

Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (713 customer reviews)

Best Sellers Rank: #4,880 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #16 in Books > Christian Books & Bibles > Christian Living > Dating & Relationships #37 in Books > Christian Books & Bibles > Christian Living > Marriage #39 in Books > Christian Books & Bibles > Christian Living > Personal Growth

Donald Miller didn't get married until his forties:"I spent years isolated and alone, working up words to tell people who I was--or more accurately, who I wanted to be."Scary Close tells of how Mr. Miller has begun to move from trying to impress a lot of people to developing intimacy with a few important people--co workers, friends, family, and particularly his new wife.If this book can be described in one word, it's honesty. Mr. Miller is possibly the most honest author I've read. He reveals himself, messy contradictions and all, until even the reader feels a bit uncomfortable. But, he reminds us time and again, "Honesty is the key to intimacy...we don't have to be perfect and, moreover, we don't have to pretend to be perfect." Pretending to be perfect, he says, is the perfect way to not develop a relationship. People can't connect with perfect friends, a perfect spouse, or perfect parents. People need to be "free to be human and honest and true, no matter how dark the truth is."Scary Close is labeled as a Christian marriage book, but I'm not sure how well that describes it. It is a story of two Christians who meet, get engaged, and get married in the end. But it is not the typical "this is what a biblical marriage is supposed to look like" book. The story ends with Miller's wedding, so he doesn't have much experience to speak from. But he does share the wisdom that his friends passed to him, along with some things he's learned from his own journey, about relationships in general.Miller also makes us think. Several times while reading I'd put the Kindle down and think about how true his words are, in my life anyway. I may not share all of the author's views or beliefs, but he makes me take a deeper look at what I do believe.

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