Paperback: 224 pages
Publisher: WaterBrook (August 19, 2014)
Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (53 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #37,998 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #10 in Books > Christian Books & Bibles > Christian Living > Counseling #18 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Addiction & Recovery > Sexual #54 in Books > Christian Books & Bibles > Christian Living > Men's Issues
I was driving to Denver for business, and heard an interview with Jason on a Christian radio station. As he started to talk about his history and purpose for writing the book, I was amazed at the horrible things that had happened in his marriage. I was interested in listening, but I really wasn't thinking about how this might impact my life. If anything, I started to feel pretty good about my marriage in light of the things that had happened to this couple due to sexual integrity issues.I was fine until Jason started to talk about his road to recovery. He started to list off all the ways he had abandoned his wife, left her feeling hopeless and hurt. He talked about this ideal sculpture of a relationship that they had started their marriage with, and how he had destroyed that sculpture over time. In my mind I was picturing the difference between a six year old taking down Lego pieces two by two and changing the shape of the sculpture, versus a two year old who comes in and completely destroys the Lego sculpture with one fail swoop. Whether it happened in one major event, or a series of events over time, this wife was destroyed. Her picture of marriage lay scattered across the floor.It was in his explanation of a path to rebuilding trust that the interview began hitting very close to home. Suddenly I found myself thinking of all the little ways I had broken down my wife's trust over the years. In our 13 years of marriage, I too had torn down the pieces of her sculpture. I didn't do this in large destructive swings with a wrecking ball, but I had done it by repeatedly tearing it down, piece by piece.If you knew my wife and I, you would say we are an example for others. You would say that our marriage appears strong.
This review, by Dr. Nicholson, has been provided courtesy of Desert Bible Institute www.desertbibleinstitute.com.Worthy of Her Trust by Stephen Arterburn & Jason B. Martinkus is a well-written, well-structured book that will likely help a number of people. I found myself, at times, engrossed in the narrative elements of the story when we learn about the author’s challenges with fidelity, addiction, and honesty. The areas with which I struggled were some of the areas of advice. In many cases I found them either inapplicable, in the average situation, or not advantageous to the healing of the marriage.There was great attention given to creating equanimity between the advice of the two primary authors. Sections of personal experience we balanced general advice. Sections than ran high with emotion were countered with practical application. Long narratives were offset by clear, structured exposition. I particularly liked the sections where we got a wife’s perspective in what was going on. All in all, this was a well thought-out book.There were only two elements that I found distasteful. The first and foremost was the inapplicable nature of some of the advice. While most of the advice was both good and Biblical, there were some elements that were bothersome. One example of this was the “five minute phone call”. In brief, the author explains that when his wife calls he must pick up the phone immediately or dial back within five minutes. If he doesn’t, she is allowed to become angry and suspicious without concern of correction. The other element was statements made like “Your infidelity was the best thing that could have happened to our marriage.” This sends an overwhelming message that the “ends justify the means”.
Worthy of Her Trust by Stephen Arterburn and Jason B. Martinkus is a book focused on restoring trust within marriages devastated by unfaithfulness, particularly in the area of sexual integrity. It is a mixture of advice from well-known author Stephen Arterburn and the personal testimony of Jason Martinkus who struggled for many years with sexual addiction, which left his marriage in tatters.He shares the many years of hard work he had to do to regain his wife's trust as well as covering some of the myths that surround this form of sin. There is some really helpful advice including getting accountability partners that the wife trusts who can give a realistic report and guidance around trigger situations such as travel and spending time on the internet. Unfortunately even within the church men fail badly in the area of sexual addiction, so this book would be a great resource for recovery but hopefully it can also be used a preventive measure, so it never gets to the point of addiction or adultery.There were a few things that I found a bit worrying though in this book regarding statements that their marriage was better than ever, which may be the case but the same result could have been achieved by applying themselves to the marriage before getting into trouble rather than after it and consequently saving both husband wife a lot of hurt. Some of the trust building strategies seem technology reliant, which can fail such as no phone reception or the phone battery going dead but horrible betrayals of trust require radical means to recover this loss trust.The narrators (one male and one female) were quite good as they related to the husband and wife's point of view on the topic. Both were very clear and easy to listen to, which made the text more effective.
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