File Size: 996 KB
Print Length: 216 pages
Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0764201573
Publisher: Bethany House Publishers (February 1, 2006)
Publication Date: February 1, 2006
Sold by: Digital Services LLC
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Word Wise: Enabled
Lending: Not Enabled
Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
Best Sellers Rank: #268,295 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store) #65 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Religion & Spirituality > Christian Books & Bibles > Christian Living > Counseling #141 in Books > Christian Books & Bibles > Christian Living > Counseling #247 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Religion & Spirituality > Christian Books & Bibles > Christian Living > Dating & Relationships
Dr. William Backus has done a great service in writing this book. Many big problems start as small problems, problems that could be solved with proper communication and unconditional love.Dr. Backus writes that by far the most frequently violated command of Jesus is "When someone sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone." Human nature wishes to tell anyone and everyone else but the person who needs to be confronted lovingly with the truth.The author uses his experience as a Minister and a Clinical Psychologist to guide the reader through the process of loving confrontation. Chapter titles include: "How to have a good clean fight." "How to Handle Critical People" and "How to say no."The only qualification you need to benefit from this book is to be a member of the human race who routinely interacts with people. No matter who you are or what your station in life, you will benefit from Dr. Backus' insights."Wear the old coat and buy the new book."
Backus' book is a refreshing read to communicate openly and lovingly with others and avoid manipulation.Among the many important points covered in the book include:1. When we lose integrity, we become a fraction of the person God created us to be.2. We fail to receive because we fail to ask.3. Do's and dont's for criticizing others.4. Characteristics of loving speech.5. God does not guarantee we will always be around people who will always act properly.6. Adding your own self-criticism to a person's critical remarks can stop people in their tracks.7. Do not pride yourself on not making requests.8. Attention and compliments are nice, but they do not determine our self-worth.Read and be encouraged to be less manipulative of others and loving them more!
As a minister of 31 years, I first read this book about a dozen years ago. It helped me communicate better to my wife, friends, and congregation.Since that time, I have loaned copies to numerous people I have counseled (I have a stack of these), and many have been helped through putting this book in practice.Backus encourages direct and honest communication. He deals with the lies we tell ourselves that keep us from speaking truthfully and directly. Besides aiding in communication skills, the principles mentioned will also increase personal sincerity and integrity.Practical, easy to read, illustrated with case studies, this is a must read for all Christians.
I borrowed this book from a friend thinking it would help me to better communicate with others when I disagreed with them - how to speak the truth in love, etc. I got so much MORE than I ever expected. Backus exposes lies that we believe in about ourselves and others and makes a way for the Holy Spirit to bring change. I am now so much more aware of how easy it is for me to fall into manipulation (based on fears and lack of trust in God) instead of simply speaking the truth. It is an eye opener and I'm really grateful to have read it. I plan on buying several for our home-group as Christmas gifts because we can ALL benefit from his insights.
Dr. Backus helps the reader to accurately undertand what his/her rights are, and what rights s/he DOES NOT have, within relationships. He also details healthy ways to both manage, and avoid conflict; if at all possible. This is one of the best books I've ever read. (A good companing to this book is the book "Managing Conflict God's Way".)
If you haven't read "Telling yourself the Truth", read it first and then this one. I wish I had read these when I was 18...would have saved much heartache. I have implemented these principles and have seen drastic changes in my thought process. I have given copies of these books to all my friends and family members and they have all had the same results. No matter what you think you suffer from, you need to discover the truth. They are written with Christian perspectives however, the principles apply regardless of faith. Read the books.
Well-researched & winsome advice from a competent psychologist on how to cultivate better relationships by telling the truth. Most of us, Backus observes, are somewhat less truthful than we like to think we are.Backus dispels common myths about what being "nice" requires - and supplies more honest (& serviceable) alternatives.The final chapter on "small talk" is worth the price of the book. (Yes: this smug introvert was caught red-handed in his disdain for "small talk", which Backus identifies as one very good way to "tell each other the truth"; in it, we offer "a chance to know each other gradually and without great threat", p.187).Hoping for the chance to work through this again with a group of trusted friends.
Sometimes we think we are telling our spouse the truth because we have told ourselves the same lie so many times that we actually begin to believe the lie. Here is a voice in that wilderness of lies that will help you return to the path of restoration.
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